Sunday, February 11, 2007

Reflecting...

Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone i dont know
some how i can not hidewho i am, though i've tried
when will my reflection show who i am inside
when will my reflection show who i am inside
[Reflection , Mulan the movie Theme Song chorus.]

Reflecting...

recently, i've been reflecting on myself on how i acted ever since i came to TP. i thought of many many stuff, like say, my squashieS, frenz, etc. i confided a few of my frenz on my character. n i found out tht, i've not change much since sec sch. other then being even more noisy. =p hmmm... i recalled many many things, such as my actions on a few occasion. i really regretted them, n still y did i acted out without thinking?? really angry with myself. how could i hav acted so rashly n irresponsibly.

furthermore, after wad i have done, i juz pat da dust off my butt n walk off unknowingly. crappie shit of me... though i noe tht it's no use bruding over old matters, but still i was thinking how can i change for the better.

i thought of many many ways. but it seems tht my stubbornness made me stay at 1 spot, not moving an inch or a millimetre. o my gosh! y cant i move? y dun i move? i guess i hav to build up a stronger mind set to move on if i wanna improve. it's not tht i dun wan to, it's juz tht... can somebody tell me how to change?

over the period of my "reflecting", i was thinking bout this song:"Reflection" the chorus i posted above. "when will my reflection show who i m inside", dis line has really really came to my mind umpteen times! den i thought of my Heavenly Father, i prayed to him, asking for help, asking him to show me signs of my trouble. after a while, i've realised it. He had answered to my prayer even b4 i pray. lol. amazing? well, it's amazing grace tht He had shone on us. i worship Him.

i shall not say the real name but as "yogurt"[actually wanna put as "milk", but nvm la...] or revealing yogurt's wherabouts.
yogurt went to OTC[orientation training camp] together wif many other ppl including me. yogurt was in the same empire as me. we knew each other b4 the camp. and we r considered quite close. 1 dae during da camp, yogurt met new frenz tgt wif some old frenz, n yogurt pang seh me. n the way yogurt behaved was extremely irritating n annoying to me. yogurt was bootlicking to mages they juz met cos tht mage has a big affiliation. lol. n i tot tht yogurt mix ard wif them cos of getting some benefits. yogurt acted very fake.

i told someone on my opinion bout yogurt, but they dun feel how i felt . so i nv brought up the matter again. after a period of time, someone very dear to me told me bout my character, i was stressing over tht topic for quite some time. so i prayed...
yup, God brought to me yogurt as an example on how i was. hehe. Praise the Lord.

all in all, i wanna change n i hav to change. not only for me, but for the ppl ard me n those hu care for me a lot. i wanna thank u very much for pointing out wad was to b changed, n thank God for helping n guiding me along the way.

THANKS ALL!! valentine's dae is coming soon! expect some treats from me!! *MuaKx!*

Posted by m|Lk|e gReeN at 5:48 PM