Friday, March 07, 2008

life sux... lets end it...

life sux... lets end it...



it's been a tough week for me... nonetheless... i still survived. =.=~3 i'm kinda sick of life for a bit n did some reckless stuff like cutting n stabbing myself with hairpins. this was my 1st time, and to my surprise, i was fearless n didnt felt any pain. my heart was so numb that i don't feel sad.

too many things happened within 1 week that caused me to think the unthinkable.

the truth is tht i did smth so gravely sinful that i wouldnt want to forgive myself... i did smth wrong to my mom, whom i love n cherish in my entire life. n i did smth so stupid to her. hai... as i m writing, i feel the pain in the heart, tears juz stream down from my eyes naturally. now i have to isolate myself until i really get over it.

now i've become more quiet, i'd rather c den tok nowadays. i wonder how m i gonna get over dis kinda things.

o well... there r 4 things that happened within a week... 1 is family matters which cant be told. another is relationship stuff, also cant b told. the next would b HEALTH. not only my ankle did not recover as expected, i had tennis elbow. FYI, tennis elbow is an effect after having to sustain shocks or vibrations from racquets that weakens the elbow joints, theoratically. in my case, SQUASH. i guess i was too eager to improve to catch up wif the girls at safra, cos they were really good. N of cos my passion for squash has been burning ever since i joined SAFRA. cool huh? but yea... kinda injury prominent. =/ now i have rest till i'm fully recovered. in the time being...

n lastly... frenship. guess some ppl cant be considered as true frens no matter how much time u spend with them and how much u understand them. lol. thx to CHIN HONG that i understood it.

for the past week since mondae, i was at Amazing Race 5 as helper. supposedly to be a participant, but i sprained my ankle. =.= lol. sux. but it was great cos i get to know a few more ppl n dis guy who really looked like Ying Jian! OMG!! but it's the plumper version of Ying Jian. lol.

hmmm.... more than half the time i was doing cross stitch and travelling ard s'pore like a participant. on monday i had to travel from dhoby ghaut to simei to serangoon n den to pasir ris. -_- felt like a participant. lol. cos of squash competitions. den on tue i went to sembawang to tp n back to pasir ris. squash training. wed suppose to have U9 meeting but i din go cos of AR5 n ended up at eunos sitting for more than half the day doing cross stitch. lol. n thursday i had to go for squash training, good thing station was in tp, didnt have to travel so far. but injured my arm. Meow~vin confiscated my racquets so i couldnt train until i recovered. the monkey HongTuan helped me massage my arm, it was painful. ouch!* went to aloha loyang for debrief. got an appreciation gift! Voodoo Doll from mini toons!

hmmm... from AR5, i learn quite a number of stuff other ppl. i realised that having to plan AR is not easy as many things will cock up at any moment. that is y most things r done in the middle of the night. dis makes very motivated.

i really wanna join e2matrix if i have a chance. for the interview, i will say: " i want to make the events held by e2 better as i m an experienced main n sub com, i believe that with the committee n me working together, we can help improve the events and boost the morale and popularity of e2matrix. and furthermore, help the eln students or eng students realise that camps in tp is not regrettable joining, but regrettable for not joining. =)" have to end it with a smile, confidence is the key. hehe.

last yr i was a little self-centred that i din noe that, until going out wif a certain someone that i realised it. thx to him. he changed me a lot. =D i screwed up my interview cos of my self-centred character. now think more for others than myself. hehe. hopefully i m given dis chance even though i noe it's slim. =p

o yea~! Mantiz spartans!! reinform u guys bout the outing!!! it will b on 16th March (date change), 2pm at cineleisure orchard BK!! don't b late!! program will be:
-catch a movie
-dinner
either:
-slack or go clubbing at clarke quay.
or:
-go Amy's house slack n ketchup. =)
we'll go by majority! there is no such thing as "anything" in the votings!! or i'll make you do smth embarrassing in the public wor.... nyahahhahaha!!! BEWARE!! =D

blog till here! blabbered too many things at 1 go! hahaha. c ya!!

Posted by m|Lk|e gReeN at 11:01 PM